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Saturday, May 21, 2016

Sausage Party (2016)

Storyline

An animated movie about one sausage's quest to discover the truth about his existence.

Review

I don't know why I'm alive actually, after illegally downloading this film from my Zumba Class I contemplated suicide and mass murder. I actually murdered two digestives and a walkie talkie, if you are contemplating suicide call this help line: 1-800-KYS. Why does this review have to be ten lines anyway, I'm getting bored in my dad's basement for the first time in thirty years. Hah! Take that, just because I've been subject to physical and mental torture for 10 years, 23 hours a day doesn't mean I've lost my sanity. This review is nearly over and I'm sorry to say goodbye so quickly. Love you guys, kill yourselves.

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Warcraft (2016)

 Storyline

The peaceful realm of Azeroth stands on the brink of war as its civilization faces a fearsome race of invaders: orc warriors fleeing their dying home to colonize another. As a portal opens to connect the two worlds, one army faces destruction and the other faces extinction. From opposing sides, two heroes are set on a collision course that will decide the fate of their family, their people, and their home

Review

Haven't seen it myself yet, but got tickets for the opening night!! A real World of Warcraft lore fan, so I know this movie is going to be amazing. I just wanted to put something out there....

Don't down vote the movie if you haven't seen the movie yet, I already have seen people giving it 1/10. I don't know why people do this but please give the movie a try first! Even for players that don't play World of Warcraft, the lore of this world can be as amazing as the lore of Lord of the Rings!!

Enjoy your evening! And I hope that people will use their free game time online to join us in our epic adventure in World of Warcraft!

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Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Out of the Shadows (2016)

Storyline


The Turtles return to save the city from a dangerous threat.

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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

The Angry Birds Movie (2016)

angry birds movie 2016

Storyline

In the 3D animated comedy, The Angry Birds Movie, we'll finally find out why the birds are so angry. The movie takes us to an island populated entirely by happy, flightless birds - or almost entirely. In this paradise, Red (Jason Sudeikis, We're the Millers, Horrible Bosses), a bird with a temper problem, speedy Chuck (Josh Gad in his first animated role since Frozen), and the volatile Bomb (Danny McBride, This is the End, Eastbound and Down) have always been outsiders. But when the island is visited by mysterious green piggies, it's up to these unlikely outcasts to figure out what the pigs are up to. Featuring a hilarious, all-star voice cast that includes Bill Hader (Trainwreck, Inside Out), Maya Rudolph (Bridesmaids, Sisters), and Peter Dinklage (Game of Thrones), as well as Kate McKinnon (Saturday Night Live, Ghostbusters), Keegan-Michael Key (Key & Peele), Tony Hale (Veep, Arrested Development), Tituss Burgess (Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt), Ike Barinholtz (Neighbors, Sisters).

Review

So I am going to be straight up honest. I have always loved animation films because they have always made me feel like a kid again. I won't lie, even Winnie the Pooh is also entertaining for me (The original ones). But let me tell you, if you are over around nine years old, just drop off whoever is younger than nine at the theater and do something else then come back and ask the kid about the film. The kid will explain it exactly the way the film is.

First the good. I liked that it has a few cool voice actor's. The voices for the film is very well casted. There are also very few funny moments in the film. I also loved how they also stayed true to the app game and yet still at least tried to create a story out of it. I also liked the King Piggie since he was at least trying to be a comedic villain.

Now for the bad. It is a childish film. A REALLY childish film. I felt so embarrassed to be in that theater. I was hoping in my mind I could be at least eight years old so I could feel confident to watch it but I had to hide myself from the others the whole time. I mean, kid's would probably get a few jokes in this but as an adult I am pretty sure you will have to ask your kid or younger brother or sister to explain it.

Now for my own personal opinion. Like I said, rather take your kid who is younger than nine to see the film and let him/her tell the film to you instead. You could save a lot of money. When it comes out on DVD, rent it on the day you feel you have watched literally every good movie you could think of. I will admit it was better than Alvin and the Chipmunks 4 The Road Chip.

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Synopsis

The movie takes place on Bird Island, an untouched paradise habited by birds who are naive and innocent, who know nothing of the outside world. They treasure eggs, and are all carefree and easygoing, except for few.

Red, the lead of the film, had lost his temper quite a few times and had gone to court and had been sentenced to anger management courses, led by Matilda. who has also had anger issues before but turns it all into a hippie and zen-like lifestyle. Another angry bird is Chuck, who moves fast and talks fast. Bomb, another main character, frequently blows up due to his disorder IED, Intermittent Explosions Disorder. Bomb lives in a bomb shelter.

The birds are visited by pigs, who are dumb but funny. The birds and pigs befriend each other and have a party, but Red does not trust the pigs at all. 
 

Saturday, May 14, 2016

Love & Friendship (2016)

Love & Friendship 2016

Storyline


Set in the 1790s, Love and Friendship centers on beautiful widow Lady Susan Vernon, who has come to the estate of her in-laws to wait out colorful rumors about her dalliances circulating through polite society. Whilst there, she decides to secure a husband for herself and her rather reluctant debutante daughter, Frederica.

Review

Greetings again from the darkness. Jane Austen ROCKS! Sure, that might be a slightly exaggerated description of the writer who passed away almost two hundred years ago, and is known for such subtle and nuanced work as "Sense and Sensibility" and "Emma". But it's difficult to argue the fact that Ms. Austen's 2016 is off to an impressive start. First came Burr Steers' highly creative and entertaining "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies", and now Whit Stillman delivers a cracking version of her (apparently) unfinished novella "Lady Susan".

Thanks to the standout performance from Kate Beckinsale, and the manner in which words from Austen and Stillman go zipping by (sometimes honestly, sometimes not), this is one fun and briskly-paced romp … more descriptions not typically associated with the prim Ms. Austen. Ms. Beckinsale as Lady Susan Vernon flashes spunk and comedic timing that we have not previously seen from her. She fits marvelously in the dress of the late 1700's, while packing a diabolical and manipulative nature more often displayed in contemporary settings.

The supporting cast seems to be having a marvelous time. Chloe Sevigny is Alicia, Lady Susan's confidant and gossip buddy … and one whose husband (Stephen Fry) continually threatens to ship back to Connecticut (as if it were the coal mines or outback). Emma Greenwell is Catherine DeCourcy Vernon, adversary and sister-in-law to Lady Susan, and Mofryd Clark plays Frederica, Susan's somewhat mousy and inconvenient daughter.

Though the women are standouts here, the men hold their own. Xavier Samuel is Reginald DeCourcy, the somewhat naïve and susceptible-to-advances-from-Susan young man, and Tom Bennett manages to steal most every scene as the quite silly and funny (and wealthy) Sir James Martin. Adding their own special touches are James Fleet and Jemma Redgrave as Sir Reginald DeCourcy and Lady DeCourcy, respectively; and Jenn Murray as Lord Manwaring … one of three suitors to Lady Susan.

This spoof/parody will strike a chord for anyone accustomed to the uptight nature of most period pieces, as well as the importance of status, decorum and the corresponding insecurities (a weakness the cunning Lady Susan will most certainly seize upon). Mr. Stillman (Damsels in Distress, The Last Days of Disco) is an immensely talented writer, and certainly a welcome complement Ms. Austen's posthumously published work. It's a deliciously funny and intricate story that features such quips of gold as "Facts are horrible things." Welcome to the zany verbal barrages of Lady Susan, Whit Stillman and Jane Austen. Yep … zany and Jane Austen in the same sentence. I told you she ROCKS!

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Synopsis

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Money Monster (2016)

money monster 2016

Storyline

In the real-time, high stakes thriller Money Monster, George Clooney and Julia Roberts star as financial TV host Lee Gates and his producer Patty, who are put in an extreme situation when an irate investor who has lost everything (Jack O'Connell) forcefully takes over their studio. During a tense standoff broadcast to millions on live TV, Lee and Patty must work furiously against the clock to unravel the mystery behind a conspiracy at the heart of today's fast-paced, high-tech global markets.

Review

There are a couple of things to note right up front about Money Monster, the first film directed by Jodie Foster in quite some time and reuniting Clooney and Roberts (remember them from the Ocean's Eleven flicks? or, you know, the two they were in together? good times) - first, I think it's important that if you do decide to go see this movie, see it in a theater (I'd say a matinée price works best, maybe not quite full price). It's the kind of movie that Lynda Obst has outlined in her book 'Sleepless in Hollywood' as being as something of an endangered species: the middle budget Hollywood genre movie with some big name stars and a plot that's appealing to a mass audience (so it's not quite an "indie" movie, but it's not something that crosses 100 million with elaborate special effects).

Though these movies became a bit tiring (or more than a bit depending on who you are) by the early 00's, in the landscape where there's either comic book movies (Marvel, DC, etc) or comic book movies in look and tone as franchises (Fast & Furious, Hunger Games, etc), a story like this where a guy holds a Jim Kramer type of cable 'news' personality and his crew hostage on live TV seems almost refreshing, at least as far as being something that's only pretense is that, you know, the economy collapsed not too long ago and confidence in things like the stock market should suck (though it seemed to have rebounded not too soon after 2008), and it's made professionally.

The other thing to note here is that just because it's a highly entertaining dramatic thriller as far as the nuts-and-bolts of such a thing are put together - the actors are just right, with Roberts being the anchor for things to not get out of control as the director of the show, and even small players like Dominic West as the CEO of the company that (seemingly) screwed over Jack O'Connell's gun-and-bomb toting show hijacker, and Clooney's Clooney so that's good - it doesn't meant there aren't flaws.

You've seen this before if you've seen, I don't know, Dog Day Afternoon or John Q (the latter's lessor than this but you may get an idea, the "Just hostage-taker" scenario), and even Inside Man, which featured Foster in a supporting role. Things to do with logic like the amount of security that should/would be in an area where a major cable show is being produced, or how the whole last third unfolds (and if you've seen the trailer, and it's hard to avoid it if you've been to the movies in the past few months, it shows you this section in pieces so you anticipate it) is implausible.

But there's a lot of good drama to mine here, and buried underneath its quick and fast-paced plot mechanics it does have something to say about not just how the American people continually get duped into things like going for stocks (or at least the ones who can afford it or try to like O'Connell's working class character), but the power of celebrity. There's a wonderful little scene where Clooney's Lee Gates tries to dissuade this bomb-that's-going-to-go-off scenario by talking to the tens of millions (I should think more, depending on who has cable around the world, but I digress) and appeals to them to contribute money so that the stock can bulk up for the company that screwed over O'Connell's character. It's the kind of performance where it feels like a performance, but in a good way: it's self-knowing and Clooney plays up to it, and when the outcome of this happens (and it's not pleasant) the emphasis on this whole 'image' that Lee Gates has perpetuated comes back to bite him in the ass.

So there's a lot of little sections that work and good character actors sprinkled throughout (Esposito, Jim Warden, John Ventimiglia), and it all boosts up what is fairly conventional and yet everything is there for the drama of this type of movie. Its even funny, in a bleak, sardonic sort of way, in a few moments (and one that's kind of weak, let's say it involves a sort of cream for your area that's, oh nevermind). I wish it was a little more strong with certain story details, but it's comforting in a way even as character yell and curse and stand-offs happen and rise and fall. Put it another way, if you want a less 'cluttered' take on stock fraud than The Big Short, look here, and if you want to spend some time away and to watch something with a few good Hollywood superstars, it's good on that end.

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Synopsis

N/A 

Friday, May 13, 2016

X-Men: Apocalypse (2016)

Storyline

Since the dawn of civilization, he was worshiped as a god. Apocalypse, the first and most powerful mutant from Marvel's X-Men universe, amassed the powers of many other mutants, becoming immortal and invincible. Upon awakening after thousands of years, he is disillusioned with the world as he finds it and recruits a team of powerful mutants, including a disheartened Magneto, to cleanse mankind and create a new world order, over which he will reign. As the fate of the Earth hangs in the balance, Raven with the help of Professor X must lead a team of young X-Men to stop their greatest nemesis and save mankind from complete destruction.

Review

Warning, I will be posting spoilers because I feel I can only review this movie properly by telling talking about everything. So if you don't want spoilers, then please don't read this.

Again...don't read this if you don't want spoilers...

Firstly, the returning cast of McAvoy, Fassbender, Lawrence and Hoult are cool. They don't really have in depth character journeys but they do well with what they were given. Magneto's reasoning for joining Apocalypse was a bit ham fisted. Taking him back to Auschwitz as a way to manipulate him into getting on board with a human annihilation plan didn't make much sense. I know Magneto is ruthless but that's a kind of dramatic. I like how Raven is saving mutants but I don't understand why she doesn't want to be the "poster child" for mutants. Her entire arc in First Class was being a "mutant and proud", after being insecure over her appearance and now she can spread that message but chooses not to. It kind of contradicts her character. There isn't much to say about Beast and Charles, they are good but don't really shine in this movie. Although, it was great seeing McAvoy with the iconic bald head.

I definitely feel like this movie suffered from having too many characters. Singer just couldn't balance it. I feel like you cant bring iconic character to screen and have them be props, or just there for cool effects and action scene. If you want to do that, its best if you make up characters. My point is Psylocke barely has any lines and just makes the weird face throughout the whole movie. I feel like all her "great" moments are in the trailers, so she was underwhelming. It definitely shows that she was a last minute edition to the movie because her character is terribly under developed. Angel is another prop, although his final fight scene with Nightcrawler is pretty dope. Jubilee did not need to be in this movie. She didn't even use her powers. Not ONCE. But Cyclops introduction was good and a great nod to comics/cartoons. Jean Grey was cool and Storm was wasted as always. She did have her accent, however she didn't have much to do and in the final battle just stood around.

Apocalypse I feel was a wasted villain. Since the comics, he's always had a survival of the fittest mentality but I feel like they needed to elaborate more on his reasoning for wanting to destroy the Earth. And like, what's gonna happen after we destroy the world? Secondly, you can't touch a television in the 1980s and have all of the knowledge of the world for the past 5000 years. Maybe now, with he internet but in the 80s....definitely not, that was stupid. I think this was a wasted villain and the final battle was a bit underwhelming, minus some cool visual moments. I, also, am wondering what would make Mystique think that she could take down Apocalypse? Weird.

I know it seems like I'm ragging on the movie, it definitely had some cool, interesting, funny moments but I feel like the cons outweigh the pros. Quicksilver's scene definitely tops the one from DOFP. But I thought it was so convenient for him to arrive at the school at the moment Apocalypse was destroying the mansion. Also, why the hell did they kill Havok. After, three movies they just didn't let him be great. Total was of a character.

This movie is not a bad movie. Some of the critics are definitely being dramatic, but I feel like this film suffers from trying to top itself and rival other superhero franchises like Superman and Civil War. I'm glad that it contains a lot more action than previous X-Men movies and I'm glad that Fox is trying to embrace the science fiction aspect of these stories, but it just falls short to me. I do have a lot more complaints but I will keep those to myself. Of course, I will never tell anyone to not see a movie. I think you should see for yourself to form your own opinion, this review is just my personal experience in words.

Anyone who gives this movie a 1 is just being dramatic and knit picking. But anyone who rates this movie a 10 is just trying to battle the terrible reviewers instead of being realistic and honest.

Lastly, I don't want the X-Men to go back to Marvel (as great as that would be), I think the X- Men should stay it's own universe. However, I do think the franchise suffers because of the creatives that handle bringing it to life. Kinberg and Singer should just leave this franchise alone and allow some fresh hands/eyes to take these movies to the next level. Even with DOFP erasing some continuity issues, they just bring more issues into the franchise that make your head twirl.

OMG....last thing, i promise. The wolverine sequence was cool and fun to watch. But it just wasn't needed at all. That entire scene should have been the post credits. Speaking of post credits, it's nice to know that Mister Sinister exists in this universe. I guess I'm anxious to see which movie he will be a villain in; Deadpool sequel, New Mutants or the next X-men film.

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Synopsis

Apocalypse picks up ten years after the events of X-Men: Days of Future Past timeline, with Professor X (James McAvoy), Magneto (Michael Fassbender), and Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence) still estranged from one another. Their paths are forced back together when Apocalypse awakens in his tomb and, finding the 1980s era wanting, decides to give the world a forced evolutionary jumpstart

His assistants, the Four Horsemen, are mutants familiar to X-Men comics fan. Apocalypse finds Ororo Munro, a.k.a. Storm (Alexandra Shipp) on the streets of Cairo. Angel (Ben Hardy) is participating in a fight club in Berlin. Psylocke (Olivia Munn) is working in Eastern Europe for Caliban, a mutant power broker. The final Horseman is Magneto, who has been attempting to live a normal life in Poland with a woman he loves.

Meanwhile, Mystique has been helping to rescue oppressed mutants, including Nightcrawler (Kodi Smit-McPhee), and becomes involved in the struggle against Apocalypse when she hears what happened to Erik. This leads her to Charles Xavier, whose school for gifted youngsters has grown significantly over the past decade. His students include young Jean Grey (Sophie Turner) and Scott Summers, a.k.a. Cyclops (Tye Sheridan).

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Captain America Civil War (2016)



Storyline

With many people fearing the actions of super heroes, the government decides to push for the Anti-Hero Registration Act, a law that limits a heroes actions. This results in a division in The Avengers. Iron Man stands with this Act, claiming that their actions must be kept in check otherwise cities will continue to be destroyed, but Captain America feels that saving the world is daring enough and that they cannot rely on the government to protect the world. This escalates into an all-out war between Team Iron Man (Iron Man, Black Panther, Vision, Black Widow, War Machine, and Spiderman) and Team Captain America (Captain America, Bucky Barnes, Falcon, Sharon Carter, Scarlett Witch, Hawkeye, and Ant Man) while a new villain emerges

Review        

Checkmate, haters. And sorry, it's just not your year. I have seen this movie, but I won't mention a single spoiler here. (If you guys want proof, you can PM me and I'll tell you how the movie ends and the after credits). The reason I'm really writing this review is that I KNOW THERE WILL BE BIASED PEOPLE HERE WHO'LL WRITE THAT BVS IS BETTER and this is trash, etc, etc. Well, just see this movie and judge for yourself. Speaking briefly of the movie, it is an emotional roller coaster with an absolutely beautiful end. Spidey had a satisfying screen time. As for the acting, by the time the movie ended, I was a happy man. Russov's are handling Infinity War, and after watching this movie, how they did justice to characters, I'll not worry. A movie we wanted as well as deserve.

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